Bloody 'ell!

It's not every day that you wake up coughing blood and follow it up with being stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam, thanks to the raucous supporters of Mr. Hazare and generous dollops of rain. And all the while you're stuck in the traffic, you keep thinking to yourself, is this really necessary? While the answer may vary over a gigantic range depending on who you are, in my mind there is only one. And it is a resounding, bombastic 'no!'
Now, before you hop in, label me a traitor, stretch my comments beyond imagination, rip it to shreds and make me 'mysteriously disappear' in a plane crash over Bangladesh, hear me out, won't you? My argument is simply this: The average IQ, EQ and decision making ability of the collective outburst-ers is not even in the same plane as that of the decision makers. That does not, in any way, insinuate that the greasy politicians sitting in parliament are smarter than the citizens of India. It simply means they are smarter than today's rebels. They are smarter than the people who run off to the freedom park, dumping their duties. They are smarter than the people who pay autos over-the-meter fare in doing so. They are more mature than the people who scream out loud on facebook about how 'awesome' the experience was. They are much better at handling situations than the people who create events in support of this scourge of civil society and certainly oodles smarter than those who click on every single page which says 'anna'. For it is a decision being made by dignified people who understand that handling a country is not as simple as being an adamant ol' coot and threatening to inflict self-harm unless demands are met.
Now, we've all seen shameless creeps trying to get popular over the past few weeks, be it by writing about Rahul Gandhi or by photoshopping other prominent leaders on to some kids holding each others' wieners. Funnily enough, the moron who wrote about how Rahul Gandhi is a college dropout did not bother to stop and worry about the broken English that they were writing in. So intent were they on their two minutes in the spotlight and pointing fingers or perhaps just acutely aware of the fact that it is sensationalism which sells in India. For all you great supporters of the "second freedom struggle", i have a few questions, apart from the usual have you never paid a bribe, etc. Answer them honestly, if you will and ask yourself again, is this really necessary?

• Every time you've called a person from the North-East a 'Chingi', have you realised that you're implying that the North-East states and its people rightfully belong to China?
  
  
• For every time you talk of corruption, would you say no to more money?
  
  
• Every time you have been accused of a mistake, right from stealing a toffee in school to messing up a project at work, have you or have you not pointed a finger at someone else?
  
  
• Every time you have seen a suave successful person, have you or have you not wanted to be in their shoes? And then realising it is impossible come up with reasons to pull them down, be it their blue blood, silver spoon or their nexus?
  
  
• Have you ever put in an extra day's work, free of cost, because it will help take India forward?
  
  
• If "all the money stashed away in overseas accounts were to come back to India", would you be happy if none of the prices or taxes were reduced and to let it all go towards the upliftment of the poor, development of the North-East & Kashmir, compensation to the farmers who have been forced to take up weapons and been branded naxalites?
  
  
• Would you be happy to pay increased taxes so that the government officials and police get a better salary and don't have to accept bribes to maintain their families?
  
  
• Most importantly, aren't you being a stupid tool by blindly joining rallies and protests while you couldn't even hold your own for thirty seconds in a debate on the issue against any of the people whose personalities you attack with the most perverted of claims?

If you have given the 'wrong' answer to one or more of the above questions, don't you think it's about time you put down your placards and worked on improving yourself? It's a simple choice you have; enable a tyrant or enable yourself and others around you; spread anarchy or spread tolerance, understanding, maturity and a need for self introspection and personal principles. For unless you do, you will all be nothing more than mere babblers. And nobody respects babblers.

Microprocessor Love

For all those of you who wonder, here's what i do in microprocessors class. *Disclaimer* The characters in this story are purely fictional and in no way represent any real life people. Please keep your psychoanalysis to yourself and let me be! :p

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, lived our little, sweet dragon. It was a beautiful land, free of those pesky little humans, and our dragon was a happy fellow, was he.
But, as he woke up one morning feeling not quite at ease, he felt woozy and strange as if he had swallowed some bees. 'What could it be?' he wondered, 'The sheep, the cow or those delicious little seals?'. 'Ah well' he said to himself 'Maybe i'll take a little nap and wake up when i feel swell.' Three days passed as our dragon took a light snore. And then he woke up, still feeling a little sore. 'What could it be now?' he wondered. 'Now my stomach's empty and i hear ringing bells.'
Off he flew, to catch him some sheep, still wondering how he hadn't been cured, even after three days of wonderful sleep. Then he swooped down on a stray flock of sheep and as he picked up a fluffy one, he heard another weep. "Baa..aa..aa..by, come baa..aa..aa..ck". 'Interesting', thought the dragon to himself, later, as he picked his teeth, 'Hearing that cry made that odd feeling even more deep'.
Weeks passed by and they rolled into months. The dragon only grew miserable, till the fire was out of his lungs. This bothered him a great deal, it did. He had, after all, breathed fire since he was a kid. He felt cold and he shivered. What this great mystery was, by him, could not be deciphered.
He tried his best to get back his flame, for without it, he wouldn't quite be the same. Ate some jalapenos, peppers and chillies did he. But, they only tickled or got stuck in his teeth. He tried sparking stones all day, and, in the end managed only to set fire to some hay. Then, the evening slept and night dawned and he found fireflies spread out all across the lawn. He tried stuffing them into his mouth but he might as well have eaten a coat. So, sadly watching them, he sat, without his fire, feeling like an overgrown bat.
And then, under the moon's glow, he started to observe something slow. The fireflies seemed to glow brighter, they did, whenever they were in the company of the beautiful one chosen for them by cupid. And then it all struck him as if he had been slapped across the face with a squid.
For all this time he'd spent snacking, napping and zip-zapping, he'd always felt a li'l buzz that meant something was lacking. So, off he flew and found himself a pretty, sweet companion. And now, as they hunt together, the sheep's cries sound to him like melodies from an accordion. The End.

Shreyas.

Dear Sweet Lord!

Dear god, you know i don't ask for many things from you. Well, it is probably because i don't believe you exist. But hey, play along, alright? As you would hypothetically know, i don't like beating around the bushes much. No, sir. Catch the turkey, i say, and bash it's head right in. So, let's move on to business.

Now, living in a city filled with 7 million people, you would feel it's natural to dash into one or two souls once in a while. Or maybe you wouldn't know. Not many people make it to where you live, do they? You don't have to stand in the sweltering heat and wait for an overcrowded public transport vehicle with a score of other greasy people, beside you. Nor do you need to have your lunch in a canteen which is way to small to service the crowd that comes in. No, you don't. You don't have to smile and shrug away every single shove in your back when you're still waiting for those on board to descend. You don't have to control yourself everyday from turning around and telling the dimwit that two people can't be at the same spot at the same time and he's gonna have to ruddy wait if he wants to get on that bus. Also, if he has to satisfy his homoerotic fantasies, he can blasted well go and lay his hands on someone else. What's that you're saying? Oh, they're probably uneducated, malnourished or maybe just in a hurry to get somewhere. Yes, yes, i understand. You still can't get on board a bus unless the people are done descending, sorry. But, you see, down here, in the land of the petty mortals, we have these things called as colleges. They are supposed to be where people go to get 'wholesome' education. Etiquette and common courtesy, pretty much a part of it, you could say. What do i know of courtesy, you ask me? Well, skip along down here. Be nice to me, don't try to screw me over just because you can't understand me and you'll find out for yourself. So, at these colleges, we have canteens. We go there to eat food, hopefully with enough space so as to not spill someone else' coffee with barely a twitch of our nose. And, being the good boys that we are, we never forget to wash our hands at the end of our meal. To get to the wash basin earlier, we may cut in queue, push someone out of the way, simply use our hideous mass to plough through without as much as excusing ourselves and save a glorious 15 seconds. But hey, we wash our grimy ol' hands. That's what matters, right?

Now, dear sweet lord, don't get me wrong. I'm not a wimpy li'l crybaby who goes running home to his mommy whenever any small thing goes wrong. Mostly because i can't, but, you knew that already, didn't you? I'm all for everybody knuckling up and bracing themselves to live in a world where everybody is accepted and, as far as possible, every character, opinion and point of view be tolerated. Yes, what the H-man did to the J-s was wrong. But, there are other issues such as humour, such as personal taste which are widely hunted down and killed. Being politically correct is a pain in the you-know-what. And politically correct humour is not, should not and must not be the only accepted form. As long as someone finds it funny and it doesn't directly harm anyone, you're darn right, it's humour. And personal taste, oh almighty, is something everyone is entitled to, isn't it? Living in a world where Fat is the f-word, where you aren't allowed to say you like fair/dark people that bit more without being scrutinized and ostracized is a little trying at times. But hey, i'm a mere mortal, i'm supposed to bend over, aren't i?

Why i write to you, is to ask you to end this already. All the blabber above is just about strangers. You don't wanna hear me chatter about the 'near and dear' ones, do you? So, send over that great wave of yours, or come in yourself, riding on a magnificent white steed. Unleash Lucifer, if you will or just help Marvin the Martian succeed for once. You, obviously, can't or don't care enough to build an open-minded society. Why not screw us over, already?

Yours devotedly,
S.

Your Animal is the Owl

You are brilliant, but you keep your insights to yourself. You tend to be a recluse. Others are captivated and enchanted by you, but you hardly even notice. You have a powerful presence. You are passionate and strident. After a while your personality can be a bit overwhelming. You are quite misunderstood. You are more emotional and mystical than people realize.

What's Your Celtic Animal?

Mirror on the wall, go for a fall?

While i'm clearly not in as cheerful a mood as last time, thanks to 45 days of college and a set of omfg-internals, things have not been all that bad. I can now, at times, look forward to getting up in the morning and stepping out of bed. I can now, without tearing out my hair, look at people doing foolish stuff around me and move on. While i'm certain there are wiser men than me who probably smile a smug smile to themselves, i'm also quite certain that they are outnumbered by the men who don't deserve a dime of my time. Earlier, i'd probably stand and stare. Now, i don't really care. What brought about these changes? Why, the beach of-course. Sitting on a beach all alone in the rain on a pleasant day, ask yourself a few questions and you'll find out what i'm talking about.


All i'm saying here is that it seemed so irrelevant to waste time on investing in people. People change, they do. For better or for worse. And when people change, equations change. When equations change, emotions change. When emotions change, your investment Always goes kaput. Now, if you had to put in your time, effort and heart into something just to watch it all erode as time passes you by, i'd mighty well recommend that you do it in smething which is not as mobile, as versatile and as volatile as a human being. People are selfish, they are. Heck, I am selfish, You are. I like it that way now, dunno if you do. So, i sat and asked myself what the wise man would do. The answer was obvious. The wise man would be a mirror. He'd be a friend to the people who wanted to be friends, an acquaintance, a "business" partner, a companion, a chum, a buddy, a pal, an enemy, a back-stabber, a secret-keeper, a bitch, an angel. And at the end of the day, the actions are more often than not, justified. No, one doesn't turn the other cheek. One doesn't give back two either. One just returns whatever was handed out to him in kind. So, if you wanna give out some candy, good for you, cuz you'll get some back! So, Trick or Treat, you decide.


Besides, a mirror never stores reflections. And what you don't store, you can't be pensive over. And life, life's just way too short to play old filmi-style flashbacks. If you gotta refer to a movie, refer to Gump,"Shit Happens!". Move on. While it may seem like a cold-blooded tune to sing, it still is way better than weeping over spilt milk and thereby holding up the milk-line, if you get what i'm saying. Besides, who doesn't like the uber-confident, suave person who doesn't have a care in the world? Everyone wants to be one. It's just their bags of emotion that weigh them down. Cut-loose and you shall find.


Apart from all the gibberish i just mentioned, things have been rolling thick and fast. VITMUN happened, and boy, am i glad it did. My first score at MUNs, representing Netherlands, being called Netherlands, Sicily's pizza, Cotton candy, Special lassi, 85 bucks pizza, bleddy dorms, trekking 15 mins to the hostels, 2 AM staircase talks, drawing half-moustaches on id-cards, being wrongly mentioned in the press Again (this time for something Maldives did, bleh!), sneaking out of the college and having people freak out at the Bihari mess, meeting someone who knows Achmed (the dead terrorist, i kill you!), having a verbattle with China during unmod, and a lot more crazy stuff happened. A huge amount of gratitude to all them folks who were a part of my experience. Ta!

Cheers..