Mommy hates my boyfriend.

~~ Extract from the first few pages of a late 80's diary~~

6th December
Wednesday
6:48 PM

Hi. My name is Sasha. I am 16 years old. I am very pretty and have the pinkest frock in my entire school. I also have the biggest collection of dollhouses in the whole wide world. Secretly, i have a poster of Patrick Swayze hidden away between the second and third layers of my bed. I kiss it every night before i go to bed. He is the most handsome man in the whole wide world.

I have a boyfriend. His name is John. He is 19 years old. He is so tall and has such muscular arms, just like Patrick. He wears a leather jacket just like Patrick did in Dirty Dancing. He brings me flowers all the time. He has a nice bike on which he makes me sit and hold him tightly while he shows me around town. He is the sweetest guy in the whole wide world.

I have a mommy. I call her mommy. She is old and does not understand me. She hates me. She hates everything i do. She wants me to be boring like her. She hates it when i am out with Johnny. She calls him a good-for-nothing ruffian. She says that he is buying me all those gifts to get me to let him touch me in all the wrong places. But i like her. She makes the best blueberry pie in the whole wide world. She also combs my hair and powders my cheeks when i'm not going out with Johnny.

8th December
Friday
7:32 AM

 Today, Johnny is taking me to the lake. We'll go boating and have our own little picnic in the woods across the lake. I think i hear his bike coming down the road. Yes, here he comes now..

11:17 PM

Oh my..  What a bizzarrely frightful day i've had. The Bobbies just left. I've been answering their questions for the past 4 hours. It feels so perfectly awful. Let me tell you about it.

It all began so beautifully. Johnny brought me a bunch of red roses which he knew were my favourite. Then, he said that i looked more beautiful than he had ever seen me. He was so sweet. We sat on his bike and rode all the way to the lake. He even told me when we paused in between that my hair looked beautiful when it was flying in the wind. He looked so manly when he said that. Turning around to look at me, in his leather jacket, with a line of sweat running down the side of his face to his stubble. I almost kissed him there. When we got to the lake, we saw that it was deserted. I guess not too many people have the time to take off and enjoy themselves on a perfectly pleasant friday morning. Johnny went over to the boat rental place nearby. While he was speaking to him, i saw him gesture toward me and the boat rental guy stared at me for a bit. Now that i think of it, it was almost a wolfish stare..

Once we were on the lake, safe with the basket i was carrying for the picnic, i felt like i had never felt before. I was happier than when mommy had told me, after a phone call, that i had won my town's beauty contest when i was in school. Well, me and 6 others, but i had won anyway. The boat wasn't a big one. It had low sides and seemed pretty old. It was very sturdy though and it seemed as though nothing could make it turn over. Suddenly, Johnny came close to me and pulled me to him. I didn't resist. He started to kiss me all over my face. I was surprised, but again, i didn't resist. I couldn't. I could smell him and feel his breath on me. I don't know what it did but i couldn't stop him. Suddenly, i felt his hand crawl under my top. It really felt like a spider was crawling up my skin. Mommy was right after all. It felt so weird. I couldn't believe what was happening but i gathered enough courage to ask him to stop. I doubt he even heard me. I tried to push him away but his grip was too strong. He only pulled me closer to him. I began to panic. We were very close to the woods. If i screamed, i doubted any one would hear me at all. But i screamed at the top of my lungs. I was angry. I was confused. I was hurt. Yet he continued to force himself on me. And then the most incredulous thing happened. I have been trying to tell the Bobbies but they just won't believe me. But i know you will..

Right there, in the middle of nowhere, emerged a weird looking head, like that of a dinosaur i've seen on the flintstones. It continued to come out of the water, it's neck must have been at least twice as long as me. I felt John take his hands off me, but i was too scared to look at him. The dinosaur came down so quickly and picked up John and disappeared under water that i couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared that it would eat me too. I rowed to the shore as fast as i could and used the little money i always carry to catch a ride home. Then i told mommy and she called the station and the Bobbies came. And no matter how many times they ask me, this is what i'll tell them. This is the truth!

If i had two extra hours a day..

                                                               Image Source                                             

I would dream!

What's that, you ask? Be a lazy person and do nothing useful? What a woeful miserable existence!

Nay, nay. Let me explain. Dreams. Dreams are all that make life worth living. What worth is a man if he does but not dream?

What rubbish, you say. A nincompoop you call me.

But little do you realise the meaning i mean or see the world i see. One day i sit in class and i wonder to myself, how was life during the crusades? The next day, in the Orient in the age of the dragons i want to be! And with a hyper-imaginative mind like mine, even sky isn't the limit, you see. And that's all it takes, a moment of quirk, to rid me of life's monotony. I'm not like most people, i just am not. I don't see much joy in gossiping or giggling or 'just hanging out'. But less happier than any, consider me foolishly not. Yes, the world is stuck in a rot, it is. With most people strolling in and out of life, never seeing what a fantasy it might be. But i care naught for them as i soar over their heads, overseeing my kingdom, upon my dragon, with glee.

What nonsense are you saying man, you say.

Ah well, let me explain, slowly and painfully, again. But remember you, before you read on, to be true to yourself and think about what i spew.
Every morning, you wake up. Some with a smile on your face, most with a loathsome hate for the daily chores you do not want to do. And just as you're done with them, you unfurl your newspaper to view news that does not please you. Annoyed, you switch to your television and view things which make every moral fibre in you scream in utter disgust, ack, pthooey. You move on to your office, where you sit in a cubicle, working for a man you'd never in your life wish to be. And you smile and you wave and greet people you wish would wipe that fake smile off their faces so you could do so too and just.. just let you be.. It only gets worse past office as you drag your feet home and see your family. He has this problem, she has that and yet her friend's friend's friend has yet another. Curse them in your mind, silently you do, that they are your problem, if only they would just let you be!

That's how you've lived all your life and how you will continue to be. Going to school and by-hearting history you never wanted to learn, wishing you'd been in one of those battles yourself, born and dying free. Listening to your economics teacher talking about Mao and wishing you'd been in those admirable boots indeed. Writing exams you never wanted to write, choosing colleges you never wanted to choose, sharing food you never wanted to share, performing dares you think wouldn't make sense to a mare. And that is how most people come and go, never truly doing anything for yourself. never truly living the dream. Some of us, when told the above, would probably nod solemnly, yet point out with sadness of the greatest degree, that there isn't enough time in a day, there just isn't enough to go around being free.

But.. if you had 2 extra hours a day, doesn't it seem like what your heart would seek? Seek what, you ask. Ha ha, anything you want, feel free! Because, that's the good things about dreams, there are No limits, you see! You can be groovy like Elvis or eccentric like Seuss, or if you so wish, be a wrinkly old moose! You could gather up all your worries and slay them to quarters, dancing and jiggying around them, singin' smoke on the water. You could finally kiss that pretty girl you always wanted to, get her to be the naughty naugggghty girl you know she wants to be. You can walk on water, you can fly. You can even talk to your dead goldfish and tell her it ain't goodbye. You could run over all the people whose habits you hate, without so much as having to pay a parking fine in rebate. You could find the cure for AIDS, you could eradicate racism, even discover the secret to Houdini's tricks or win the Nobel prize, just for kicks. You could be where you wanted to, do what you wanted to and, at the end of it all, go to bed happy. Because you know now, you do, that you'll wake up next morning safe in the knowledge that, at the end of everybody's twenty four hours, you have an extra two or four or a hundred, to be who you wanted to be :)

A lion's tail..

Aaah.. Children's Day Special!! :)

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there arrived a monkey. He had the longest tail in that kingdom now, did he. The king of the forest was a big ol' lion. He had a long long tail. Why, even the longest in the kingdom claimed he. Quite obviously, it didn't sit well with the king that his majestic tail was no longer the longest in town. He paced and he paced and he twisted & turned, even tossed the queen out of the bed a couple of turns. "Argh!" growled the queen, "Enough is enough. If you worried this much about your mane, i would probably go insane." "But, my dear queen.." said the lion, " You simply don't understand. I must, I must have the longest tail in the land!" "Must you toss me out of bed for that?" the queen replied, "And ruin my painted nails? Go speak to your ministers, if you must, about longer tails." Defeated in his own bed, the lion sighed to himself. "Of course my darling, of course" he said.


The ministers had the biggest conundrums of their lives to solve the next day, they did. For their king was in gloom. And if they didn't rid him of it, they knew, they were destined for doom. Said the bear, in his gruff old voice, "We could make the monkey leave this kingdom, if that be your choice." "No" said the lion, "I'm not that cruel. Just because he has a longer tail, i will not deprive him of his gruel." "May i suggest a clip-on to remove your frown?" quipped the vixen, "Your majesty, they're the latest things in town." "Hmm" said the lion, "Sounds kind of nice. Rush and get me a clip-on before i'm laughed at by mice!"


Now, the jungle being the jungle, didn't quite have its technology up to boot. The king ended up with a clip-on which had a saw-tooth. The lion howled & yelped and clutched at his mane. But, he told himself, it was much better than the shame. Bravely the king soldiered on for a week, till he couldn't speak any more without uttering a little squeak. His tail felt like it was on fire. Yet, he told himself, it was the only solution to this mire. Said the lion to his wife, "I cannot take this anymore. My tail feels so sore. It feels like i have a nail, hammered into every inch of my tail."


News came the next day, that the monkey had moved on. Having had his fill of the fruit, he could not stay long. Onward he moved, thinking this jungle was a bore. Little did he realise, he had left a king very very sore..


photo credit: http://clipartbestpicturegallery.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

The bimbo

There was once a pretty girl, a girl so pretty.

To her, she had entire books of poems dedicated.

Wrote some of her rosy cheeks, while of her silky hair some.

And showered day and night with gifts was she.

Some brought her flowers, some shiny earrings

And yet others tried to win her over with plain ol' chivalry.

Not only pretty, but infinitely nice was she

And not one left in disappointment, only glee.



It came not as a shock to many but her

As the doctor sighed and twirled his hair

Finally he turned and said to her..

Well, that's it, You've got herpes.

Instead of the shock and grief he expected to eclipse her face

A blank stare and nonchalance found he.

What a brave girl, thought he to himself

Till she parted her lips and said..

Oh, do i have to take shots to get rid of that? How does that happen?

Facepalmed the doctor himself, before he sent her home with all the right answers.



Slowly the number of admirers dwindling watched she

As the disease spread without concern or mercy.

And once the last of them was gone, she feared

That not much about the world knew, did she.

So used to the vile gifts had grown the pretty girl

That forgotten to become smart and fend for herself had she.

But, she thought to herself, let me make myself some tea.

After all, how hard could it be?

And so it happened that an hour later, the neighbours heard a shattering blast.

As, fidgeting with the gas cylinder, the pretty girl was gone at last.

The End.



p.s. Herpes is not the end of the world. Do check these folks to make yourself feel better.

A mother's love

It was a pleasant evening. The sun was just dipping beyond the horizon, a cool breeze was making its way through the closely packed huts and the usual stench seemed lesser. The mongrels seemed to have disappeared, leaving behind nothing but silence, broken only by the occasional cry of one of the toddlers who seemed a dozen a dime, in this colony. Somewhere far away, if one really strained their ears, they could hear what seemed like a quarrel between two old women. Then again, one could also lose themselves in the the soothing yet lost melody, as the widow who lived in the last hut on the left tried sing away her sorrows. To one eye, it appeared a perfect scenario. To another, almost an eerie calm before the storm..

And a pleasant evening it still was, when Ni'mah came skipping in to her home. She hurried to her mother, who was busy in the little portion of the hut that had been designated as the kitchen area. "Ammi Jaan" she said, "My teacher called me very good today. I wrote the entire tables of 9 before everyone else." "Hmm, that's good. Your abba will be very happy" replied Shafana. Disappointed with not having received the excited response she wanted, Ni'mah continued, "Nobody else did it for ten minutes after i finished. The teacher said i was very smart!" Lost in her own thoughts, Shafana again absently replied "Very good, sweetheart." Disappointed, Ni'mah turned towards the door and was about to exit, when she saw Ahmed jaan running through the colony, screaming at the top of his lungs..

At first, it seemed like he was being chased by the scourges of hell themselves, but soon, as he got closer and closer, Shafana heard the commotion and joined her daughter at the door. 'They're coming.. They're here..' he seemed to be shouting. 'Who is here?' wondered Ni'mah to herself. She turned to ask her mother, but stopped halfway when she noticed the expression on her mother's face. Shafana was shocked. She had heard of all the mobs which were victimising Muslims, but she had prayed fervently to Allah, that they would never come this way. She had heard too many horrifying stories of how the mobs had destroyed & desecrated entire families to be able to keep courage and she felt her feet give way..

Being the bright girl she was, Ni'mah immediately ran over, picked up some water and sprinkled it on the face of her mother, who regained consciousness, appearing ten years older than she had done ten minutes before.
"What happened, ammi?"
"Nothing sweetheart, nothing. I must be tired. I didn't eat properly in the afternoon."
"Ammi, what was Ahmed jaan saying? Who is coming?"
"Ni'mah, my dear, you know that your abba and I love you a lot, right? You're the prettiest, smartest girl in the world."
"Ammi, tell me.. who is coming?"
"*sigh* It's the Hindus. They're coming in mobs. It'll be alright. Don't worry."
"Ammi, why are they coming? Why would i worry?"
"Nothing sweetheart. Some people did very bad things to Hindus on a train. Some of them think that every muslim should be punished. Don't worry, nothing will happen to us, Allah will protect us.."
"But ammi, doesn't Allah get angry with people who do bad things? Isn't that what abba keeps telling me? And even my teacher at school tells us that Hindus, Muslims, Christians and everybody else is equal. Isn't it, ammi?"
*sob*
"Ammi, why are you crying?"
"Nothing, Ni'mah, nothing. Yes, you're right. Allah does not like people who do bad things. He will punish whoever did any wrong to anyone. But the Hindus do not believe in Allah. They have become blind with anger. Allah will protect us. Allah will forgive them.."
"But ammi, even if they don't believe in Allah.. is it still not wrong to do bad to others. Aren't they still human?"

Before Shafana could reply, screams began to escalate through the colony. From the doorway, Shafana could see men dressed as priests and whatnot dragging out women from the homes, striking them mercilessly. Then, she noticed something which froze her in horror at the sheer magnitude of the vulgarity. Afsana, her friend's 12 year old daughter was stripped naked and being passed around amongst the wolfish mob, who, it appeared by the dancing lights of their torches, had developed vulpine teeth and devilish horns. Afsana's mother lay nearby, her clothes in shreds and some hairy beast on top of her, while more beasts with greedy eyes surrounded the scene like vultures, waiting for their share of the spoils.

Quickly bolting the door, Shafana huddled in the corner with the now silent Ni'mah, saying all her prayers, hoping that the mob would not come their way. She thought of how much she loved Ni'mah, her abba and how much he owed to him. She thought of what she had just seen and though she wanted to throw up, she couldn't muster the courage to move from the corner she was huddled in. Much though she tried, she couldn't get the scene out of her head. All of a sudden, the scene seemed suddenly surreal and she saw Ni'mah in place of Afsana.. Overcome with disgust, she tried to push the image out of her mind. But before she could, she saw vivid images of herself, knife in hand, trying to fight away the beasts, and seeing that there were too many, putting the knife through her daughter's heart, feeling like it was going through her own..

Ni'mah, who was already shivering, shuddered as there were loud thuds on the door. She could hear chants in praise of the Hindu gods outside. She didn't want to go out. She wanted the door to remain closed, forever. It felt very comfortable in the warm embrace of her mother. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother grab the kitchen knife. Was she going to fight away the bad people? As the thumping increased, the door began to give way. As it slowly but surely started to move out of its hinges, Ni'mah's heart began to pound and she turned to look at her mother. Her mother was crying, very clearly. And then she noticed something peculiar. Her mother's hand, holding the knife seemed to be raised. It was now moving down, it seemed, towards Ni'mah's heart and she slowly watched it come closer and closer..

Photo credit: http://outhouseworldphoto.wordpress.com/2007/10/27/muslim-malaygirl/