A Knight's Tale - Sir Samsung Galaxy Tab 750

The Kingdom of Earth was in panic. All around, gloom & despair seemed to penetrate, seeping through the very walls. In his courtroom, King Society frantically paced in front of his throne. His daughter, Princess Consumer had been kidnapped, yet again, by the powerful Desktopasaur. This wasn't the first time, but, Society was determined to make it the final time. He had therefore assembled a batch of famed Knights from far and wide to rid the kingdom of the cumbersome menace. Still pacing, Society made his way towards the open courtyard where amidst pomp, splendour and much hope & cheering from the eager, onlooking crowd, had gathered some of the most valiant knights. And, keeping in spirit with all fairy tales, the king had offered his daughter's hand in marriage to the successful knight. Amidst those staking claim to the Princess' hand were Sir Appel, Sir Flier, Sir Whoawei and Sir Xoum. Even as the King stood on the podium addressing the gathered knights, a tear welling up in his eye, he heard loud cheers from the far end of the courtyard. Eagerly, he turned his head in the direction of the applause and was treated to the glorious marvel of a brilliantly bright screen. Sir Samsung Galaxy Tab 750 had arrived. With his large 10.1" crystal sharp display and 149 ppi pixel density, it was no surprise that the entire crowd along the courtyard was now on their feet in anticipation of their new saviour. As Sir Galaxy 750 approached the podium, Society felt his heart inflate with hope. All introductions were made and addressals undertaken with it being decided that the knights would set out on their quests the next morning. But, quite obviously, the arrival of a new suitor did not sit down very well with the established knights. So, they got together to plant seeds of suspicion in  the mind of the king, through their channels and succeeded in doing so. Now, while Society was a wise ol' man, he knew that gaining the trust and respect of the other knights would be vital in Sir Galaxy 750's arduous quest. So, he decided to give in to the pressure and set a challenge of preliminary tasks to be performed. 'Sir Galaxy', he said in the wee hours of the morning, 'While Customer is of grave concern to me, i must also please my subjects and instil their confidence in you. Hence, i request you to help our local birds retrieve their eggs from a bunch of rogue pigs, obtain a list of videos on request from our artistes and help our students finish their projects. All this, i've been asked to tell you to complete by dawn.' The other knights, confident that no knight could finish all these tasks in such a short time, congratulated themselves on having eliminated a part of the competitors before they had even set out on their quest. Little did they know of Sir Galaxy 750's 1 Ghz dual core processor, thanks to his good friend, professor Nvidia. Sir Galaxy 750 smiled to himself as he heard Society speak. This would all be over in a jiffy and when dawn came, there would be much less gloom over the kingdom as a new hope would have been established.

Morning arrived, sun dawned and the other knights stepped out of their chambers with a grin on each of their faces only to have it wiped off as they did a double take on the scenes in front of them. Sir Galaxy 750 was being carried to the palace in a procession. The kingdom seemed to have temporarily forgotten about Desktopasaur. Or maybe they had just begun to believe that their saviour was finally here. Looking down from his balcony, King Society nodded to himself. Yes, he had made the right choice. And, he whispered to himself, 'I shan't tell anyone but i think i have a favourite'. Now, the set of knights was truly worth awe-inspiring. 

Soon after, the knights were gathered on the high-grounds, each prepared to truly give his best to win over the princess. As they set off on their quest, Desktopasaur (D-saur hereon, for convenience) had hatched his own plans for them. With the wide array of minions at his disposal and the treacherous terrain between the palace and his dungeons, D-saur had no intentions of letting Consumer out of his grasp. So it was that when the knights hadn't been travelling for too long, they suddenly found themselves sent tumbling over. A trench had been dug up and covered with false terrain. As the knights landed at the bottom of the deep trench, they heard a sickening crash. Almost immediately after, they heard Sir Whoawei moan. He had been rendered incapable of carrying on. The other knights silently prayed for the fallen. As Sir Galaxy 750 rose from the trench, he also dedicated a silent prayer to his good friend Professor Corning who had provided him with the highly durable Gorilla Glass, thereby protecting him from harm.  Thanks to the Gorilla Glass, he had managed to escape without a single scratch, quite literally.

D-saur, however, was in no mood to relent. Even as he watched with joy the vanquished knight, he ordered for the next attack to be launched. A heavy smoke-screen filled the forest region which they had emerged into and even as he escaped the scene of the chaos, Sir Galaxy 750 could feel one of the other knights weakening. As he emerged from the cloud, he tried to make contact via one of the impressive multiple channels he had. He could communicate over 3G, EDGE, GPRS, wi-fi and even bluetooth 3.0! Gradually, he managed to find Sir Appel's signal, which seemed to be far away while Sirs Flier and Xoum seemed to have gone under the radar. Being the gallant and noble knight that he was, Sir Galaxy 750 would never be the one to leave behind a kin. So, again he tried and this time, received a signal from Sir Xoum, who seemed to have developed problems with connectivity. Sir Galaxy 750 transmitted his co-ordinates to Sir Xoum, who came running in soon after, bearing the sad news of Sir Flier's inability to carry on. Sir Flier had developed problems with connectivity and being unable to communicate with the other knights had become lost in the smoke, eventually collapsing to the ground where Sir Xoum had come across him and had had to leave him behind. Having prayed for another of their fallen brethren, the two knights turned their focus to finding Sir Appel and resuming their quest to vanquish this menace once and for all. Being unable to communicate effectively, Sir Xoum silently followed Sir Galaxy 750 as the latter made use of his A-gps with turn by turn navigation to make his way precisely through the dense, unforgiving forest. Sir Appel, from the other end seemed to be making an effort of his own to rejoin the questing party. And soon enough, the two parties found themselves in close range of each other. While both could sense it, the thick forest terrain made visibility highly diminished and Sir Galaxy 750 knew they would have to rely on sound. While Sir Appel tried to generate the loudest shout possible, it only seemed like a cry from far. Sir Appel himself was very doubtful whether anybody would have heard it. But, Sir Galaxy 750 had indeed done so and in response, he activated his own powerful Surround Sound speakers which played a tune highly crisp and melodious, yet not at all blaring and loud enough to be clearly audible to Sir Appel. The knights were rejoined and they rejoiced for a solitary moment before being overcome with solemn seriousness on the task which lay ahead of them. 

As the knights marched on, the lone turret above the dungeons loomed large on the horizon and, just as the sun was about to set, the knights came across a long trench filled with water surrounding the turret. The only way to get across, it was written there, was to seek the permission of the guard and in order to please the guard, one had to make a portrait of him and present it for evaluation. If he was pleased, the guard would let him through without any questions asked. If not, the attemp would end in disaster with the maker of the portrait being thrown to the bottom of the trench to lie in a watery grave. The knights tensed. This was no ordinary guard. This was the famed Windoos. The knights knew, from lore, that an effort to eliminate Windoos would be nigh impossible and hence, decided to make the smarter choice. As they looked around, they saw no sign of the old guard. Yet, they knew it would be foolish to make an attempt to cross the bridge without his permission first. So, they looked closer and closer until it was Sir Galaxy 750 who, with the help of his Ambient light sensors, discerned a figure in the dark. It was indeed the legendary Windoos. Windoos took one look at them and immediately stood up. Slowly, he curved his right arm to show off his muscles and broke into a toothy smile. 

As the knights pondered what to do next, Windoos stood still. He had seen many contenders for D-saur's dungeon before and none had passed by him.But there seemed to be something special about these knights. They were like none he had ever seen before. They were almost similar to D-saur yet so light and beautiful. Eventually, the most impressive looking of them all stepped forward to take a picture of him. The knight said his name was Sir Galaxy 750 and proceeded to take a picture with his 3MP HD-capable camera. Windoos was very skeptical about how these knights would perform. No one yet had managed to impress him enough to be let across the bridge. Yet, he knew there was something different about this knight as a bright LED flash accompanied the making of his portrait. The knight bravely walked up to him and displayed the portrait on his glorious 10.1" screen. And, to the slightly bemused Windoos, Sir Galaxy 750 went on to display the wide array of applications which could be used to make the portrait even more magnificient using Honeycomb, the latest version of Android which flowed through his veins. Windoos was mighty impressed and let Sir Galaxy through. Still on a heady high, Windoos simply approved the next knight to pass through. However, when the thrid knight showed his rendition of Windoos' portrait, Windoos was not very impressed. In moments, the smile on his face disappeared and he let out a roar of fury before picking up the knight and dumping him into the waters of the trench before he had even had a a chance to react.

Sir Galaxy 750 and Sir Xoum looked back as they heard a roar and were in time only to catch glimpses of Sir Appel being decimated. Filled with sadness for their lost friend, the two knights hurried along lest the guard should change his mind before they reached the turret. The guard, however, didin't and the bridge was safely crossed. As they arrived at the base of the turret, there seemed to be no way in. Upon closer inspection, however, they discovered a slim slit in the  wall. It could barely be discerned, being only 90 mm wide. Sir Xoum's heart sank. There seemed no other way of entering the dungeons and the extra bulk which he had put on, against the advice of his well-wishers had finally led to his detriment. He tried to put up a brave face and asked Sir Galaxy 750 to carry on, while he would stand guard outside. Sir Galaxy 750, being incredibly crafted and only 86 mm thin made it easily through the slit after having embraced Sir Xoum and expressed his condolences. As Sir Galaxy 750 entered the dim-lit dungeons of D-saur, his Ambient Light Sensors again tinkled, carefully taking in all of the surroundings. The dungeon seemed to be a network of intertwined serpentine tunnels and it was said that D-saur had fortified himself in, built the turret on top and had never been out. How Princess Consumer had been brought in remained a mystery, yet Sir Galaxy 750 knew that his priority was to rescue the princess from D-saur's grip. As he carefully proceeded, D-saur was also out of his chamber looking to end this quest once and for all. Sir Galaxy 750 could hear silent sobs emanating from a room somewhere in the dungeon and as he was following it, he saw D-saur leap at him. With any ordinary knight, it would have been stealthy enough perhaps, but with his 3MP HD-enabled back camera and 2MP front camera, Sir Galaxy 750 was truly aware of his surroundings on all sides. In a flash, Sir Galaxy 750 leaped in the same direction and when both landed, only one stood tall. Sir Galaxy 750 had done it. Princess Consumer was no longer at the mercy of Desktopasaur. She had been freed and opened to a whole new world of possibilities where brave knights roamed the land. In moments, Sir Galaxy 750  found the princess who, true to character, fell in love-at-first-sight. As he took her in his arms, Sir Galaxy 750 felt the air around him constrict. It was almost as if he was being sucked into nothingness. He closed his eyes. And when he opened them, he was back at the palace, princess in arms.. 

'Ah', said the wise advisor of the kingdom, 'Princess Consumer had the power to break free from the clutches of Desktopasaur any time she wanted to, but only a true knight such as Sir Samsung Galaxy Tab 750 could inspire her to do so. Very well, now that the curse has been broken, i would ask my lord that the festivities begin..' 'Indeed', nodded a visibly happy King Society, 'Our Kingdom has been rid of gloom and is looking to a bright new future. This does indeed call for celebrations. And to begin it all, let me start by raising a toast to the newly-wed couple.. To Princess Consumer & Sir Samsung Galaxy Tab 750, may they live together happily, forever..'

The End. 

For all those of you who love Tablets but missed it's launch, here's the launch of the Samsung Galaxy Tab 750 which, i assure you is totally zooming to the top!

p.s. Do leave a comment, if you like something in particular! :)
 

Who saved my cheese?

Seeing as this is to be my first post on Indiblogger and i wish to make my eccentricity well-known, let me tell you a short story, as i usually do when i'm tripping on coffee and it's past 3 in the morning.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a brave mouse. He was famous in the entire colony, for he had once stolen an entire family's weekly-worth of cheese in broad daylight and squeaked in defiance at the screaming landlady, before scampering back home. Well now, that wasn't all that brave you say, but mice being mice tend to have low standards for bravery. As his fame grew, so did he, quite literally. All he did was sat and ate his mother complained, in whatever little time she could spare from herding around all his younger siblings. He retorted with short unintelligible grunts and stuffed some more of the kind offerings which seemed to find their way, almost miraculously, to his plate. Then one day, out of the blue, came a squeaky shocker. One of his biggest admirers, came streaking down the drainage bearing news of a new hero to have emerged in the colony. He was nothing more than a mere ordinary mouse under yesterday's moonlight, but today, he had managed to collect cheese to suffice for an entire family for two weeks, squeaked away at the equally squeaky housekeeping lady and managed to poop on the rest of the cheese, before majestically strutting home past the terrified lady. Whether he had managed to get himself stuck in a bottle of wine the previous night, no one knew. But bravery comes in many forms and, as the wise old mouse preached during the sermons, 'When the heavens shower you with cheese, only a rat questions the will of the Lord!'
Now, our original hero, having been used to adulation, felt a little green with envy. As the days passed, his platter seemed to reduce in abundance and it only made him greener. One by one, his admirers began to dwindle and his glorified memories began to fade. This made him the greenest and he could take it no more. He told himself he could do it, he could reclaim the lost glory and swing back to the top of the chain, for he was He. The next morning, off he set scampering, unaware of the fact that mouse-hero number 2 had struck at exactly the same house as he had and that they didn't take too kindly to being insulted twice by mice. He hadn't ventured too far into the house, when he felt a bam! 'Yummy,' thought the newly arrived feline at the household, 'A fat juicy one!" And in two swift strides, he swooped down on the pudgy little fellow and gobbled him up, before strutting off and curling up into a soft ball of fur on the landlady's lap. Thus was saved the cheese.

Moral: Cat good, poop on cheese bad.

p.s. I know i have a twisted sense of humour and pretty poor language skills. But, it is 4 in the morning, for Chrissake! Thank me!

Bloody 'ell!

It's not every day that you wake up coughing blood and follow it up with being stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam, thanks to the raucous supporters of Mr. Hazare and generous dollops of rain. And all the while you're stuck in the traffic, you keep thinking to yourself, is this really necessary? While the answer may vary over a gigantic range depending on who you are, in my mind there is only one. And it is a resounding, bombastic 'no!'
Now, before you hop in, label me a traitor, stretch my comments beyond imagination, rip it to shreds and make me 'mysteriously disappear' in a plane crash over Bangladesh, hear me out, won't you? My argument is simply this: The average IQ, EQ and decision making ability of the collective outburst-ers is not even in the same plane as that of the decision makers. That does not, in any way, insinuate that the greasy politicians sitting in parliament are smarter than the citizens of India. It simply means they are smarter than today's rebels. They are smarter than the people who run off to the freedom park, dumping their duties. They are smarter than the people who pay autos over-the-meter fare in doing so. They are more mature than the people who scream out loud on facebook about how 'awesome' the experience was. They are much better at handling situations than the people who create events in support of this scourge of civil society and certainly oodles smarter than those who click on every single page which says 'anna'. For it is a decision being made by dignified people who understand that handling a country is not as simple as being an adamant ol' coot and threatening to inflict self-harm unless demands are met.
Now, we've all seen shameless creeps trying to get popular over the past few weeks, be it by writing about Rahul Gandhi or by photoshopping other prominent leaders on to some kids holding each others' wieners. Funnily enough, the moron who wrote about how Rahul Gandhi is a college dropout did not bother to stop and worry about the broken English that they were writing in. So intent were they on their two minutes in the spotlight and pointing fingers or perhaps just acutely aware of the fact that it is sensationalism which sells in India. For all you great supporters of the "second freedom struggle", i have a few questions, apart from the usual have you never paid a bribe, etc. Answer them honestly, if you will and ask yourself again, is this really necessary?

• Every time you've called a person from the North-East a 'Chingi', have you realised that you're implying that the North-East states and its people rightfully belong to China?
  
  
• For every time you talk of corruption, would you say no to more money?
  
  
• Every time you have been accused of a mistake, right from stealing a toffee in school to messing up a project at work, have you or have you not pointed a finger at someone else?
  
  
• Every time you have seen a suave successful person, have you or have you not wanted to be in their shoes? And then realising it is impossible come up with reasons to pull them down, be it their blue blood, silver spoon or their nexus?
  
  
• Have you ever put in an extra day's work, free of cost, because it will help take India forward?
  
  
• If "all the money stashed away in overseas accounts were to come back to India", would you be happy if none of the prices or taxes were reduced and to let it all go towards the upliftment of the poor, development of the North-East & Kashmir, compensation to the farmers who have been forced to take up weapons and been branded naxalites?
  
  
• Would you be happy to pay increased taxes so that the government officials and police get a better salary and don't have to accept bribes to maintain their families?
  
  
• Most importantly, aren't you being a stupid tool by blindly joining rallies and protests while you couldn't even hold your own for thirty seconds in a debate on the issue against any of the people whose personalities you attack with the most perverted of claims?

If you have given the 'wrong' answer to one or more of the above questions, don't you think it's about time you put down your placards and worked on improving yourself? It's a simple choice you have; enable a tyrant or enable yourself and others around you; spread anarchy or spread tolerance, understanding, maturity and a need for self introspection and personal principles. For unless you do, you will all be nothing more than mere babblers. And nobody respects babblers.